To Buy a Vow Read online

  I heaved a sigh of relief as I processed that information. Then I realized what she said and smirked. “Uh, isn’t this a conflict of interest for you?” Her boyfriend’s brother was co-owner of Capital Grill.

  And because she was my bestie, she already knew what I was talking about. “Nope; Byron has nothing to do with this, and I have never been biased when it comes to his brother. Besides, it is more of his brother’s partner who owns this spot. Apparently, his wife is a vegetarian, so he came up with the concept of The Greenery as an anniversary present.”

  My eyes widened. I was impressed. “Wow, that’s actually beautiful as fuck.”

  Shanice nodded. “I know right. Talk about grand, sweeping gestures of love. And black love at that. I love it.”

  I bit my lip. It must be nice to have someone love you so much they’d open a restaurant based on your dietary choices. Chris would never have even thought of something like that. Hell, he knew I loved to shoot and wouldn’t even buy me a membership to the range. It’s amazing that it took him divorcing me to see something like that.

  “Nedra?”

  I blinked out of my thoughts and looked up at my friend. The sympathy and concern I saw in her eyes made my throat tight. But I had cried enough tears today, so I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but I know that shit looked as weak as it felt.

  “I’m good, Niecy.”

  “Are you sure?” Her tone was as disbelieving as the look she gave me.

  I nodded and sipped my water.

  “As a matter of fact, I was thinking…” I rubbed at the condensation that collected on my glass as I considered sharing my news. “Since I’m getting a divorce, I think I want to have a baby.”

  Shanice’s mouth dropped open and her eyebrows shot up. She was clearly as shocked as I expected her to be. “Are you serious?”

  Her expression made me laugh. “Yeah, I am. I’ve been thinking about it for a little while now. It was actually the first thought I had after I got over my initial shock. The thought hit me out of nowhere and I was like ‘Hm, now I can finally have a baby’.”

  She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Oh, Ned. You could have had a baby before now.” Her face had twisted into a frown.

  I pursed my lips. “No, actually, I couldn’t have. Chris told me straight up that he wasn’t ready for kids so what the fuck would I look like, letting myself get pregnant? And risk him leaving me to raise our baby by myself? No thank you.”

  She tilted her head. “Do you really think he would have left? Just abandoned you and his child?”

  “I don’t know and I didn’t want to find out. Hell, my daddy left.”

  Shanice squinted her eyes at me. “Girl, your dad died. I went to his funeral.”

  “I know that!” I snapped at her. “He left before that, though.”

  Exasperated, Shanice spread her arms out. “Left where?! You told me that he was always around when you were growing up.”

  My lip curled, why did she have to bring up old stuff? “Yeah, he was around, but he left me and my mama. The three of us weren’t a family.”

  With an annoyed sigh, Shanice looked me in the eye. “You know what? Right now you are projecting your current emotions on old situations that have nothing to do with anything. You don’t have to muddy the memories of your father to justify how you feel about Chris. You can just hate him, and that’s okay. I promise I’m not judging you because I sure as hell hate him for what he’s doing to you.”

  I bit my lip and looked away from her piercing brown eyes. I said I wasn’t going to cry anymore today and here she was trying to make me out to be a liar. I just wanted to eat some good food and spend a few hours with my mind occupied by something other than my failure as a wife.

  “Okay,” I said simply. “Let’s order.”

  She eyed me for a moment longer, probably trying to decide if she wanted to push the issue but then, thankfully, she nodded and returned her attention to her menu. Our waiter appeared at my side and we gave him our order. I made sure to request a bottle of hot sauce for my collard greens. I thought it was a simple request, but when he gave me an apologetic smile that I was unfortunately all too familiar with receiving at the fancy-ass restaurants Shanice brought me too, I begin to think differently.

  “My apologies, ma’am, but we don’t offer condiments to guests before they have tried the food.”

  My brows lifted in surprise, and I looked at Shanice. I hope she was making a mental note of this for the review she would be writing.

  “Oh, wow. Okay then. Well, keep it on standby for me.”

  He winked at me. “I don’t think you’ll need it, but I will definitely do so.” Then he trudged off to submit our requests to the kitchen.

  Immediately, I turned back to Shanice. “What kind of controlling mess is that?”

  She shrugged, obviously used to the quirks of niche restaurants. “I don’t know about controlling. It is highly arrogant, though. But hey, if it’s warranted then I’m all for it.” She lifted the carafe and poured herself a glass of water before taking a sip.

  “I guess.” I pushed my chair back from the table and stood. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.” I made my way through to the back of the dining area cautiously. I was unfamiliar with the layout and didn’t want to end up in some place I wasn’t supposed to be. After turning down a hall and passing a couple of doors, I finally found it.

  Getting back to the table turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated, and I ended up turned around and coming out on the other section of the dining room. That side was empty, save for one table. The two men who were taking pictures outside sat at the one occupied table against the wall.

  The one who had been in front of the camera had lowered his hood and was hunched over his plate. His back was to me, and I noticed that his head was bald and shiny like he oiled it regularly. I had to pass them to round the partition and get to the side where I was sitting, and I tried to do so quickly. Being over here with just them was awkward as hell. Hm. Definitely a baller.

  I’d almost passed them up when something on the table caught my eye. On the corner near the jar of succulents was a bottle of hot sauce, and my heart leaped at the sight of the round wooden top. Without thinking, I stopped and turned to them. I faced the bigger guy—the photographer—since he was in my direct line of sight.

  “Excuse me—”

  The big guy held up a hand, cutting me off. “No pictures or autographs, please. Just let us eat in peace.”

  My head snapped back at his rudeness. The other man’s head popped up. “Aye, Boobie! Chill out with that, man.”

  My lip curled and I slapped a hand on my hip. “First of all, I don’t even know who you are. Second, why would you assume I want anything from you when your inconsiderate ass can’t even hold the door open for a woman behind you!”

  His eyes widened in surprise. “Hold up—”

  I cut him off. “No, you hold up! I came over here to ask for the damn hot sauce, but if the shit means that much to you then keep it with your rude ass!” I turned around and damn near power-walked to the end of the section, hitting the curve on two wheels.

  When I dropped down into my seat, chest heaving with anger, I noticed that Shanice was looking at me crazy.

  “What?”

  “Girl, everyone heard you over there.”

  “Huh?” I looked around and saw that several patrons were gaping at me. “How?”

  Shanice pointed to the partition. “That thing isn’t sound-proof. It doesn’t even go up to the ceiling. We are in one big room.” She leveled me with a knowing look. “And, you were yelling.”

  I huffed. “Well, all I wanted was some damn hot sauce. That fool was rude as fuck and for what? He talking about a damn autograph, and I’m just trying to season my food!” I clenched my fists as I got angry all over again. I was also embarrassed. That man had spoken to me like I was a peon, and I know he thought he was allowed that right because his friend
was most definitely a baller. I don’t give a shit how many zeros are in your bank account; no one will talk to me crazy.

  Shanice started regaling me with stories of her future stepdaughter and eventually, I let the encounter go. I focused on having a good time being out of the house for a much-needed get-together with Shanice, and when my food came, the waiter backed away but hovered near enough that I knew he, too, had heard the drama about the hot sauce.

  I let Shanice take her required pictures of my plate then I forked some of the collards into my mouth and groaned. They were tender with just enough bite to let me know that they had been cooked fresh.

  “Niecy. These greens are bomb!” She nodded at me as she snapped the last picture of her own meal. The waiter came back, but this time sporting a smug grin.

  “Hello, ladies. I still have that hot sauce on standby; do I need to bring it out?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. He was a little smart ass, but I can’t deny he was right. “You know that you don’t. You were right.”

  His smirk widened into a full grin, and I returned the gesture. He nodded and disappeared until we finished our meal and it was time for him to clear our plates. We declined dessert since I still had a whole cake at the house and asked for the check.

  I sat back in my seat, rubbing my full and sated belly. “Girl,” I waited for Shanice to look at me, “I love your job.”

  She laughed like she did every time I said that. “That makes two of us.” She took a picture of the receipt before putting a few bills inside the envelope and throwing her purse over her shoulder.

  We stood from the table and headed out to her car. The ride back was silent but comfortable. Shanice hummed along with the radio while I was wrapped in my thoughts.

  I had to admit that I was grateful for Chris telling Ashton about our divorce. Dread had consumed me when I had thought about having that conversation, but Chris actually ended up killing two birds with one stone for me as Ash, in turn, told Shanice. I was still surprised about that but would have to hold my questions until I saw her in a couple of weeks when she came home for a visit.

  Without a doubt, she would have some of the same questions that Shanice had for me because although he’d broken the news, I knew Chris had failed to go into detail. Hell, if I was really lucky, Shanice might return the favor and fill Ashton in on what she knows.

  I dropped my head back against the headrest and sighed.

  I was so glad I had my girls to help me get through this bullshit.

  Chapter Three

  Nedra

  When They Should Call You Remote Since Your Buttons Stay Pressed

  “What you over there breathing so hard for? You got something you want to say?”

  My jaw was clenched and I could feel my teeth grinding back and forth. I forced myself to relax. Braces had ruined three years of middle school class pictures deemed mandatory by my mama and I had no desire to revisit that experience by fucking up my teeth behind some bullshit. I dropped my eyelids and inhaled a slow, deep breath, willing myself to calm down.

  “Huh, Nedra?”

  Just that fast, the momentary calm that my relaxation technique had given me evaporated as my granny called my name in a haughty tone. She was intentionally pushing my buttons today and I couldn’t figure out why. My eyes popped open and collided with my mama’s across the table. Her eyebrows raised dramatically as she averted her gaze and pursed her lips. I narrowed my eyes at her. It was her fault I was in this position in the first place.

  I was too damn old to be getting lectured on a regular basis, but my snitching ass mama put me in this position, knowing good and damn well that I couldn’t say nothing to my granny except “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am.” I twisted in my seat and looked behind me at my granny who stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

  “Why you sweatin’ me, Delores? I’m just trying to enjoy this meal you graciously prepared.”

  Her hands fell from their perch across her chest and landed on her wide hips. Hips that had skipped my mama and landed right on me. She pursed her lips.

  “Oh, I’m ‘sweatin’ you, am I? Hmph. Well, maybe you need to be ‘sweatin’ that husband of yours and beg him not to divorce you.”

  She hadn’t raised her voice from that even tone that was laced with disappointment and an accusation, the tone that she’d taken to using with me lately, but nevertheless, her words sounded deafening in the small room. I sucked in a breath and twisted back to face the table. That wasn’t just a button pressed, it was a shot taken and it hurt something fierce. Avoiding my mama’s burning stare, I focused on the bowl of red beans and rice in front of me. Mechanically, I shoved a spoonful of the perfectly spiced dish into my mouth but I hardly tasted it.

  Just as my spoon hit the bottom of the bowl, my granny dropped a plate on the table at the edge of my placemat and dropped down into the chair on my left. I glanced at the slice of pecan pie then back at my bowl. This was her acknowledging that she may have done wrong—gone too far. Historically, she never apologized with words, but instead gave peace offerings. Edible peace offerings, in my case. Pecan pie was my favorite and I hadn’t even seen it in the kitchen when I fixed my bowl of beans and rice. I don’t know where she was hiding it but I was happy to see it.

  On the other hand…

  My feelings were still hurt; pie wouldn’t fix that, but I almost appreciated the gesture. I’d appreciate it even more if it meant she would leave this conversation on the table forever. That was beyond wishful thinking, however. Granny meant well, I know she did, but shit. The situation was more complicated than she could understand.

  I crumbled the last of the sweet cornbread that had accompanied the meal into the dregs of my beans and rice and scraped at the mixture until I had consumed every possible morsel of food. Without touching the pie, I pushed my chair back from the table. Granny reached out and grabbed my hand, halting my descent from the table.

  “Ned.”

  I kept my face blank as I looked at her. “Hm?”

  “Eat your pie, baby.”

  It was neither a question nor a request. She was telling me to eat the pie. I wanted to laugh even though it wasn’t funny. She really thought that if I ate her pie, then I forgave her. Of course, I wanted the damn pie—I loved pecan pie—but I wasn’t in the mood to play with her today. I just wanted to go.

  “That’s okay, I’m pretty full from lunch. Don’t really have room for dessert. Thanks though, Granny.” I patted my soft belly then quickly stood from my chair and carried my bowl into the kitchen. I dropped it into the soapy, lukewarm water that filled the sink and washed and rinsed it quickly. After setting it on the rack to air dry, I wiped my hands with a paper towel and exited the kitchen through a side door that took me to the living room, instead of back into the dining room.

  I had already shrugged on my jacket and was slipping the strap of my cross-body bag over my head when my granny ambled into the room with a scowl on her face, my mama right behind her.

  “I know you weren’t going to try and sneak your narrow behind out of this house without so much as a word to me!” There was even more attitude in her voice now than before and her tone was definitely elevated.

  My mama smirked and dropped down on the suede couch, seemingly to watch the show. “Ain’t nothing narrow about that behind.”

  I cut my eyes at her then took a deep breath before addressing my beloved grandmother.

  “Granny, I’m tired—”

  “Tired of what, baby? Not from fighting for your marriage.”

  Fighting for my—Oh hell no. Fuck this shit!

  A mirthless chuckle fell from my lips. “You know what…” I stopped myself before I got really disrespectful. What I was NOT going to do was stand here and listen to her continue to berate me for something she didn’t even know the half of and was honestly none of her damn business. I spun on my heel and stomped to the front door.

  “Nedra!”

  I ignored my grandmother’s voice callin
g me back into her house and cleared the steps quickly, walking to my car and throwing open the door. I was in the car and pulling away from the curb in less than two minutes. It wasn’t until I reached my destination and put the car in park a half an hour later that I realized that I had left my mama behind. I sucked my teeth. She had ridden with me to my granny’s house because she wanted me to take her to the store later.

  Aw shit.

  I’d never hear the end of her mouth for this shit. I shook my head and pulled out my phone. With just a few swipes of my fingers, I had sent her twenty dollars for the rideshare app she used when neither I nor her boyfriend was around to give her a lift. Hopefully, that would buy me some reprieve.

  I stepped out of the car and pulled up Instagram on my phone, switching over from my personal account to my professional account. I took a picture of the building in front of me and typed out a quick caption.

  @blackgirlmagicbullet: Impromptu session at my sanctuary. Will be here until 6 at the latest. If you’re free, join me for half-off a half hour lesson. As always, come empty-handed and open-hearted ♥♥.

  I clicked the buttons that ensured my photo would be shared across all of my social media pages then submitted the post, shoved my phone into my back pocket, and I made sure my car doors were locked before entering the building. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, I felt much of my tension melt away. Just as I’d said in my post, this place was my sanctuary. I’d been coming to Bullseye since I was thirteen-years-old. That’s when my granddaddy decided I was old enough to learn how to shoot.

  Inside the small lobby, behind the counter, sat the owner, Mr. Albert. Seeing Mr. Albert brought as much comfort as being in his business did. It was always his smiling ebony face that I saw when my granddaddy brought me and even now he smiled at me although I’m sure he was surprised to see me.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Albert.”

  He grinned at me, his bright white teeth gleaming. “Good afternoon, Ms. Nedra.”

  I pursed my lips to stifle a giggle. He’d been using the honorific on me since I was a child, and it still amused me.